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She paused for a moment. Perhaps she knew that I needed her to pause. It gave me time to enjoy her image of a beautiful person standing in the sunshine, talking about love. I loved that image, knowing well that the heart of the beauty that I saw was in myself. I had always understood this. She, too, had understood it, I was sure of it, though we never talked about this in Delhi. Still, everything that happened there was a reflection of it. I was hoping she would bring at least some of it to light here in the sun-filled world of our island paradise.
"I think it was in Old Delhi where the CSB story really began," Indira continued, then paused again, looking at me, waiting for me to nod.
"Right! It began with Peter and I having our very first breakfast together in my apartment," she said. "The breakfast was preceded by a long scientific exploration of the necessary dynamics of universal Love, reflected in our love for one-another and our humanity. It was on this day, at this very morning, at this height of spiritual perception, that I was suddenly able to look at myself honestly as a human being, perhaps for the very first time, and this as naked as I was born, and embrace myself in that state with a great and profound joy. This joy pervaded the rest of the morning. I was able to invite Peter to take part in this joy. Yes, this great light of universal love did meet my need. It was something human and divine all at once. Out of it unfolded a morning of sunshine, tea, joy, and sex, with something to eat in-between. No biscuits. But none of that would have been possible without the scientific foundation that had been established first, that had opened the portal to the light of universal love.
"This day, a great human need was met, and this need wasn't sexual. Did Pete tell you about our prayer mat?" she asked.
Without waiting for an answer she proceeded to tell her story of the prayer mat. She had started to weave it as a gift for her future husband. She told us that she became shocked one point, by this project. She told us that the men that she observed, as possible candidates appeared to be as empty and unfulfilled in their lives as she had been then, each expecting that another would provide the fulfillment they lacked. She said that joining hands under these conditions would have been like two beggars begging from each other. It wouldn't have been a union of hearts that brightens the world as when two kindred streams of love mingle to brighten the sunshine. It would have been a union of emptiness.
She told us that she never found an answer to building up that inner fulfillment until our scientific exploration had raised it to a higher level, working together as we were, on that bright morning on our balcony.
"Pete and I had discussed the Rig Veda and the more ancient concept of the One Divine Reality that has Many Names, but that no one can define, and that no religion, culture, person, or ideology owns. We realized," said Indira, "that this One Divine Reality is Love. Pete called it the Father and Mother of the universe, the very heart of man, the essence of our being, the image that we bear as the sons and daughters of that One Divine Reality that is Love. He quoted the Apostle John who had said the same thing; that God is love; so, that in loving, we find God and the fullness of ourselves reflected in our divine image."
She paused, searching for words. "I never understood the Rig Veda," she continued, "until Pete and I began to explore it on a higher level, and with it, suddenly, I began to understand myself. That's when I suddenly remembered my prayer mat again, which I had woven for my future husband. I suddenly realized that I had actually found what I had been looking for, for all my life. No, it wasn't found in Pete. It was found in me. I discovered that I no longer saw myself as a beggar, but as a human being incredibly richly endowed. In order prove to myself that this was real, I went into the bedroom that morning and took all my clothes off, which would have inspired shame before. Nothing of the sort happened. As I had expected, I was able to look at myself with love and with a great joy, a joy that I was fee to share, which encircled Peter and the whole of humanity. Without that foundation of a richer self-love within, I don't think our healthcare improvement project for the poor people of India would have even gotten off the ground. Instead, it worked wonders."
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