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Ross paused. "Wasn't that exactly what happened during the first evening you spent with Ushi and Steve?" Ross continued. "For that entire evening you had burnt your candles at both ends at once; all of you had, exploring together what it means to enrich one-another's existence and to uplift the whole world in the same process. You were pouring out your Soul, celebrating your brightest vision, the nature of Love, the substance of Life. It would have been totally impossible for Steve to send you back to your hotel that night. It would have been a total denial of all the riches you have laid on the table. It would have been a denial of yourself and of the brightness of the generosity that is in our Soul. Steve sensed this. He probably didn't see the connections as we see them now. Still, he sensed what needed to be done. He had two choices before him. One, to blow the candles out, which he couldn't bring himself to do. The other choice was to keep the light shining at all cost. That light of generosity is precious once it unfolds."
"Yes, Ross, what unfolded in that light was precious too," I added.
"That's how your night with Antonovna should have been," said Ross. "If it had been that way, there would have been no occasion for her to ask: Are you trying to entice me? It wouldn't have entered her mind. Nor would you have had an occasion to ask: Could we do this again? This wouldn't have entered your mind either. These 'little' things would have been far too unimportant to be even thought of."
"Yes, I think that's how it should have been, Ross," I replied.
"Do you think I am up to that now when Antonovna gets here?" I asked moments later, quietly.
"Hell no, Pete, not by a long shot. Neither of us is ready. That is why I have asked you here. We have a miracle to perform. From now on generosity is going to be oozing out of our every pore. It will be reflected in every look. It will be modulated into ever phrase. It will be reflected in every deed. We will live it, dream it, eat it, and sleep with it. It will be our very air. We have decades of training to undo, and decades of neglect to make up for, and self-denial to overturn. And all that in a week!"
I shook my head. "That's not possible, Ross. Not in a week."
"All right then, let's make it ten days. Let's give ourselves ten days, Pete. This means that I have a proposition for you that might save us until we are ready."
"What proposition, Ross?" I said carelessly. I knew I should not have had to ask. I could sense what was needed. "For starters, I think we should move heaven and Earth to uplift the entire conference," I said to Ross.
"Starting with what?" replied Ross in a tone of surprise. "What can uplift the whole conference to a level of a greater generosity?"
No I began to laugh. "Ross, you told me yourself, that the small stuff always needs to be enveloped with the big stuff which it should represent. So, let's look at some small stuff that is trailing in poverty, where this isn't happening."
"You are talking in riddles, Pete," said Ross.
"How many people do you think are at this conference who would have fared any better that I fared with Antonovna that night?" I asked. "Would you say fifty percent, Ross? Eighty-percent? Ninety-percent? How many rapists are out there in society, even among the delegates here? How many are sexually beggars, and are so dishonest with themselves that they can't even say the word sex; who hide in their closet and close their eyes so that they don't have to say the word, sex. That's a kind of rape, too. A kind of forceful denial and self-denial. Is this being generous with one-another? Maybe we can open this little scene up a bit, and wrap some generosity around it. It doesn't make much sense to talk about politics. Everybody has opinions on that. I think we need to start smaller, much smaller, something that is founded on truth. We need to set up a candle and light it, and so put a lot of light into a dark area that is presently the scene of the deepest division of humanity. Maybe if we do this, we'll start something rich, that Antonovna wants to be a part of. Do you think this is possible, Ross?"
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