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Chapter 4 - Bolshoi in a Bright Night
The evening that Ushi and I met, was to be a celebration of life, primed with a dinner at an intimate goulash house in a basement of an old building that might have remained from the imperial age, a stone castle, but the atmosphere was said to be Hungarian so we were advised. Next on the list was a performance at the Bolshoi. And before all of that we met at a famous bar a block from the hotel.
That's what out plan was for a night to be remembered. Except it didn't go quite as planned. Anton somehow pervaded the scene, at least at first she did, and not even in person. Ushi and I had numerous discussions in the bar and on the way to it, all centered on Anton. As if we couldn't avoid the subject Anton invariably became threaded into the topics of our conversation and into our own celebration of the kind of life and freedom that Anton had found so impossible to attain. Our focus on Anton wasn't related to the small directly personal things that would open the door to our meddling in her life. Instead it was centered on healing. In that respect Ushi was more experienced than I was, through her long-time relationship with Helen the healer, and her knowledge of Helen's construct of what she called the lateral lattice of hearts. Out of that came Helen's concept of the universal kiss, which seemed to far more than just a construct for countering isolation, even our own self-isolation. Ushi and I realized that the scourge of self-isolation goes very deep, especially in the sexual domain where the whole of mankind is isolated by sexual division. Ushi and I were determined to bridge this deep mote for ourselves and to celebrate our freedom from it in which we might find a healing idea that would help Anton to claim her own freedom.
I told Ushi what Fred had said that if we were to uplift one single person at the conference, then a great achievement would have been wrought that would have made the conference worthwhile. I felt that just helping Anton as a person would make all the efforts worthwhile. "Society seems to make every possible effort to maintain its myriad divisions, rather than to overcome them, especially its sexual division." I said to Ushi that a sexual barrier stood in Anton's way.
"Those are the worst," Ushi replied. "Society obeys these barriers while in its heart of hearts it would rather step across those divisional boundaries. Why is this, Peter? Why is society so small? We all have a need to be proud of ourselves as beautiful sexual beings in a spiritual sense, but we have we been taught to 'hide' our sexuality behind a barrier. We are allowed only one exception and that's in the smallest social domain, the domain of our tiny marriages?"
"That's a paradox, isn't it?" I said. "Marriage should make our life bigger, not smaller."
Ushi suggested that the marriage isolation that makes life smaller is deemed to make life more secure while the evidence suggests the opposite, as Anton's case illustrates. Ushi then suggested that there shouldn't be any marriage isolation anywhere in society, as we had discovered back in Leipzig on the first day we met. "Marriage means bringing people together," said Ushi. "Why should the marriage process become an end in itself that puts a closed door before people? Shouldn't marriage be a growing process of our continuing expansion? Shouldn't it become the expression of the Principle of Universal Love coming evermore to light. Then it would reflect the model of Helen's lateral lattice where we all exist side by side, individual and sovereign, but bound into one whole by countless strands of universal love that illumine the universe? Sadly, that's not what we see happening anywhere. We set up barriers against all of those out-flowing stands of love. Anton's barrier is one of those."
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