"Yes," I replied, "that wonderfully rich day that we shared would not have come about if we had not been honest with ourselves in a big way all the way through. You and Steve have helped me with your own honesty to end that personal war that I had been unjustly fighting against myself in the name of what is erroneously called, morality and honor. You have both helped more than you can imagine, Ushi, to make this breakthrough a reality with all these deep things in it. You created a New World for me to live in."

      "So it is our honesty with ourselves that must never be allowed to end, Peter, or else we will never reach the tall goal that we must reach in the world to protect and uplift our lives. Is that a part of our passion? What can be more beautiful than to embrace one another as human beings and to uplift the world to the point that it matches this tall image?"

      "We won't succeed if we become complacent, Ushi, and let even a single element slip out of sight. Our passion must be full. I found this out in Russia. I met many daring people, surrounded by all sorts of self-made barriers, each struggling against them. I know it is tough to deal with these barriers. I was just as deeply trapped by them than most people are, trying to get free."

      "Trying is not enough," said Ushi and nodded. "We must empower ourselves to keep on moving forward. We must become ever more honest with ourselves, more open to the beauty and strength of the human world, and become constantly richer in our loving and our self-discovery that feeds our loving. At the same time we must also become more gentle in all that we do and aim for."

      I agreed. "Who knows how great a task this may yet turn to out to be!" I said smiling, leaning back into my chair on the balcony.

      "And what loveliness, joys, and opportunities it will yet unfold," added Ushi.

      I stood up and leaned over the railing to sniff the breeze that came in from the open ocean. Our corner balcony faced right into the flow of the Trade Winds.

      "I find the wind refreshing," I said to Ushi as she joined me at the railing. "There is such vitality in the wind. The wind makes me ashamed of not being able to move with the same ease and the same gentle power," I added quietly. "Instead of moving with ease and with power, I am stuck with puzzles that I find no answers for."

      "It's about Sylvia, right? Let me help you," Ushi replied and reached her hand out.

      "It is something much deeper than that," I said and took hold of her hand. "I am ashamed because I can't respond in kind to the wonderful help that I have been given. Everywhere people are helping me, but I don't seem to be able to return the gesture. I am stuck in a one way street, as it were."

      Ushi shook her head and raised her hand to stop me.

      "No, Ushi, this is how I feel," I replied. "I met a woman in Suchumi who had modeled her approach to loving on the premise that all of humanity is naturally generous, helpful, and loving. She learned this from a businessman who had built his entire business on that platform. He always endeavored to give a portion of the substance of his success back to people in order to keep the process alive on which his prosperity depends. The woman that I met was dedicated to the same idea, to the same principle, just like you and Steve are. I have received so much love from both of you, and so much generously offered help, but why am I so bankrupt when it comes to giving anything back that enriches people's life, most of all yours?"

      She put her arm around me. "You mustn't think that way, Peter," she said quietly. She responded with a kiss. "You have made profound contributions to us all by just being honest with yourself. Don't belittle that. Still, I know what you are saying, because what's troubling you is all too common in the world. I often feel the same way. And the reason is that we simply aren't used to making contributions. We are not used to truly being ourselves, and acknowledging ourselves as bright and wonderful gems of light like a sun. We are ninety-nine times more focused on getting than on giving anything back. That puts us miles away from radiating love effortless like a sun. That's why we can't move."

Next Page

|| - page index - || - chapter index - || - Exit - ||

Stories about  Love from novels by Rolf A. F. Witzsche