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I shook my head.
He said that I had missed an important spectacle by not being there, a spectacle that should have cured the human race forever. He said that the civilian casualties were so high during the offensive that one US commander lamented in public; "It seems we had to kill all those people in order to liberate them."
Raymond paused, and added quietly that we were doing exactly the same today with our spouses, and that we were doing this in the name of honor. "We invent mythologies with which we put them behind prison walls where we psychologically starve our loved one's to death. And we are proud that we have the strength within us to make us model prisoners that isolates them too, and we do it in the name of honor. Moreover, we have the gall to tell the world that the whole thing is based on deep feelings."
"Indeed, there are deep feelings involved, Raymond. I have very deep feeling for Sylvia, and I'm sure she has for me. That's exactly why I have to be careful. I don't want these feelings ruined."
"Deep feelings! - My foot! You are kidding yourself! Can you honestly speak about deep feelings when your relationship is so completely circumscribed with restrictions that you're practically choking yourself to death in your constant denial of the least bit of honesty with yourself? Indeed, you have deep-seated feelings, feelings of fear, but not of the deep feelings you've been talking about. I wonder if you ever had such deep genuine feelings for the nature of an autonomous human being who is struggling in the world to find his or her identity. If you ever had such honest, deep feelings, the superficial stuff that you are now worried about wouldn't matter. The way I've come to know Sylvia, I would venture to guess that she has these kinds of deep feelings for you, and that you are very likely be torturing yourself over nothing."
There was an occasional pause in the conversation while Raymond and I ate. These silent periods rarely lasted long. We had giant prawns, fried Vietnamese style, served in a delicious buttery sauce. There is this thing about eating prawns. One is never too busy eating, so that one cannot talk.
"Most men don't bother to struggle with themselves, as you do," Raymond came back. "That's what I like about you. Most men just close their eyes and put themselves emotionally to sleep as society expects, or they lie through their teeth, mostly to themselves. For this, society rewards them with exiting diversions, like sports, the stock market, or captivating banking or business careers, or standing in public acclaim in politics or in show-business. However, have you ever looked at the results? I have wives come to my office complaining that their husbands are treating them like some low cost prostitute, or they complain about marital rape. This degradation, apparently, society accepts as quite proper. It comes as a shock to them, when I tell them that they have created some of the torture themselves."
"So what is the answer, Raymond, what is the bottom line?" I asked him.
"The answer appears to be that people have become increasingly immoral, not dangerously immoral, but immoral none the less, though not in the way you said it."
"So, what are you telling your patients then?" I asked him. "Are you telling them that the system is wrong under which they live, or are you telling them that they are wrong? Are you telling me that the system is rotten that got me into trouble, or are you telling me that I am rotten? What is your answer going to be? If my problem is the result of a systemic failure, as it appears to be, let's fix the system."
"This in not a systemic failure," said Raymond. "The system has worked for many thousands of years, unaltered. It hasn't changed."
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