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"Would you like to go swimming?" Odessa asked when the sky had turned a deep cobalt blue that bordered on black. I said yes. She invited me to her favorite lake in the woods behind the house where she said the waters, fed by several hot springs felt pleasantly warm for a nighttime swim.
We swam for an hour until a hundred thousand stars filled the cobalt blue sky. After our swim we strolled along the riverbank in the brightness of this starlight. The path wound through tall stands of flowers that appeared silver in color. In a moonless setting, one is intensely aware of the starlight and its splendor.
Much later we went to bed together. The bedroom was an open room kept cool by the late-night breeze. There was no tension in being in bed with her, or ecstasy, or pretense, nor anything that was in any way comparable to what I had cherished before. She called the bedroom her special room. It was the highest room of the house, built with a retractable roof so that the universe itself became its ceiling and we were at one with it as we should be being a part of it. There was no intimacy that I knew that could exceed the intimacy of that night, nor had I ever felt closer to anyone. Still, neither trespassing nor attachment marred the closeness of this union that became an appreciation of greater wonders that far supersedes what we called physical sensuousness. It was as if sex, as I had known it, had no validity at all in that reality that seemed infinitely more valid on this new platform that I had barely began to understand.
What unfolded was something that could not be theorized, something where the actual experiencing of the reality becomes the driver for discovery by which the operating principle comes to light. I had no idea before meeting Odessa that a love like this could exist. Sex permeated her nature, but to 'embrace' it physically was unthinkable. Loving Jill seemed incredibly primitive in comparison with what was unfolding now, even while it was a step of growing up that would never be invalid or be forgotten or be less beautiful in the future.
I mentioned Jill to Odessa.
"Don't let this love slip away," she said. "Let it be for as long as it needs to be," she said. "Relish it. Relish it as a stepping stone to the greater that you will thereby achieve."
She pointed to the walls of the bedroom and said that the one facing north would reflect the morning glow before the sunrise. The one to the east would next reflect the sunrise itself. The wall to the south would reflect the brightness of the day. And finally in the evening the golden glow of the sunset would illumine the wall facing west. She added that this cycle is repeated every day. "The dawn is not invalid," she said, "nor is the sunrise or the sunset, simply because the noonday is brighter. We need the entire vast and varied cycle that has many facets. We need every part of it, because the Spirit of the universe is not a simplistic sun, but one with many avenues. This does no mean, however, that your love for Jill won't move though the whole cycle with you, again and again."
Being touched by Odessa in this wide and open way conveyed a feeling to the soul that was like an arousal from a deep sleep, saying to consciousness: "Get with it! The time has come to put away the toys of babies! Let everything become new according to the new day."
My reaction to this was like saying to myself: "But of course! If it's only a body you want, that's all you will get. We have lived in small houses with small windows, because this was the type of world we had built for ourselves."
Werner Heisenberg's words came to mind that the physical universe was like clouds of dust thrown into the face of spiritual immensity, imposing dense blindness upon thought. Or was it not Heisenberg that said this, but some other great scientist? The saying seemed true. I could ill afford blindness, certainly not now when so much was to be gained.
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Stories about
Sex
from novels by Rolf A. F. Witzsche
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