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"Hey, honestly, I meant what I said, Natalia. I meant all of it! I also believe that the greatest treasure we have as human beings is our infinite individuality that is blending like so many words of a poem, or the flow of sounds that blend into a symphony. That is how I found Jill, and I wouldn't be at all surprised if you were to became a part of this symphony since you had your eyes set on Jill long before me. Does that thought scare you? Does it scare you to become a part of a grand symphony in which we all have our own dance to dance, directed by our heart, while our voices mingle into a majestic whole where countless instruments and artists produce a sound that no one can produce alone? Does that sound too profound to be possible?"
Natalia shook her head. "No, it sounds wonderful. The beginning, apparently, has already been made," she said and began to grin. "The world looks a lot bigger now. But what does this make me in the orchestra?" she said and began to laugh. "Does it make me a Piccolo?"
"Oh, yes, indeed Natalia. Your voice is as clear as a Piccolo, your mind soars like a violin that signs, your wits is like a trumpet that calls to attention, and your honesty like a bassoon that sets the mood. You're a saxophone, a French horn...."
"Eh, a French horn!" she grinned. "Is this a compliment?"
"Oh it is. To me, you're the Horn of Plenty!" I said with a twinkle, while I tapped the top of her leg three times in quick succession.
"You fiend!" she said and grinned and invited me for a swim after this.
Naturally, I had expected some change to take place in our feelings toward each other in the 'shadow' of the great adventure that Martin and I had. Oh, it had changed me indeed, though I was at a loss for words to talk to anyone about it, and I felt I probably wouldn't for a long time. But Jill was a part of that, and that at least I could talk about freely. Thus part of my new world I understood, and I didn't hide our association under a blanket. I just hadn't expected anything as rich to unfold from it, with such a measure that it would enrich Natalia as well. It seemed that a New World had begun. Oh, if the captain would ever dare again to stand in the way, God help him! He would get a surprise response.
We had a great time at the pool that day, Natalia and I, and went dancing afterwards. Three days later Jill joined us quite regularily at the pool, and for the dancing afterwards. I just can't remember anymore who invited whom, and how it all came about. It didn't seem to matter. I only remember that something wonderful came out of it that made the new times distinct from all previous occasions. It made the new times richer. I soon realized that the exquisite gentleness and wit that I had so much admired in Jill, came to light in Natalia's every expression. I realized that it had all been there before, but that I just hadn't opened my eyes wide enough to notice.
"How grand we are as human beings?" I thought. "We seemed to make each other shine more brightly the more we are in touch with one-another." It seemed to me that we are a living paradox in that respect that can only be resolved in the complex domain where it is possible to understand that one plus one equals three, or even five. That paradox makes no sense on any other platform except in the complex domain where it becomes profound. That is how our union appeared and unfolded now more and more.
Of course, I realized that Natalia hadn't changed. I had changed. Whatever of her loveliness hadn't moved me before, obviously hadn't been caused by any lack on her part. The lack had been my own. I had lived in a separate universe, as it were, a universe that had been riddled with lack and self-imposed limits. I had mistakenly thought this to be a universe of freedom. "Maybe this is the heart of the Bohr/Miller principle," I thought, "that there can be no distance, even between what is individually worlds apart like a number of separate loves becoming one."
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