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"You're are a star among stars," I said to my newfound friend Jill when we were in the garden on the lower level collecting those samples, "you both are," I added.
Jill smiled in reply, but didn't say anything. At the close distance between us, while collecting the samples for which I was allowed to hold the tray, Jill appeared to me even more beautiful than she had back at the restaurant across the two empty tables.
Natalia came to mind. I hoped that my being with Jill wouldn't hurt Natalia.
At this moment the ship's constitution came to mind, and most of all my friend Martin's words, that I was the master of my dance. Only, did I have the right to invite another person to join my kind of dancing?
"If the dance is enriching her as a human being, then perhaps you may invite her to dance with you," said the voice within me, gently.
I looked up confused.
This must have puzzled her. Her smile had faded into a concerned kind of look.
"Forgive me, I'm not much in control of myself today," I answered quickly.
This comment about stars and her being the most precious didn't seem to be the right thing to say. I wasn't happy with it, and if I wasn't, I figured, neither could she be. But how is one to repair that kind of damage?
"I've come through a lot of strange circumstances today that I can't explain in any rational manner," I said quietly, "so I won't."
"No, don't belittle yourself," she said gently. "You are a star too, a courageous and beautiful star. I love to hear you say those sparkling things about me, seeing that you're honest about it. It happens much too seldom that people dare to be honest in this way, almost never."
"I'm merely trying to be honest to myself," I said.
"Are you an artist, then?" she asked.
"I don't know," I said quietly, "I really don't know."
We walked back to the upper-level lab. She suggested that the coffee-water might be heated.
"I really should be going now," I added.
We came closer at this moment, near enough for a kiss. I was frightened and exited all at once, and of course filled with the most wonderful feeling all of a sudden. I held her gently, just for a brief moment. At this moment I realized that I wasn't so much in love with her specifically, as I was in love with all mankind, which we were a part of, which she represented in the loveliest way as a woman.
Being in love with her was like being in love with myself. What a strange and wonderful feeling this was! She didn't appear in any way less special in this broader focus, if not more special because of it.
In this trance the inner voice spoke again. "You fool," it said. "You had asked her if she had ever done 'something' at zero gravity, and she had said, no. Then you had asked her again if she was comfortable at forty-percent gravity. You knew what you were asking, and she didn't throw you out by your ears. Instead she blushed. Only a fool would consider leaving after this promise of a coming paradise! James, don't be a fool!" said the voice within. "Don't put limits on this!"
The next thing I became aware of, was her asking if I wouldn't want to stay for coffee. The words were sweetly spoken.
"I'd gladly stay for a century," I burst out and began to laugh. "Thanks for the invitation. To be honest, there's no place I would rather be than right here. The hack with what I had planned to do. There's nothing planned that can't wait till tomorrow. Being here with you has the highest priority that I can think of." I began to laugh. I even bowed and said, thank you, once more.
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Stories
about
Healing
from novels by Rolf A. F. Witzsche
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